entertaining infinity

... and the human equilavent?

 
Brilliant. 

I can imagine SO many great variations on this theme for the human-types ...

i want one of these in my neighborhood

There's a little park not far from my home with a brook (and way too many ducks), tennis courts, baseball diamond and a kids playground; when I go walking, I often include a trip through the park, and usually wind up circling the playground a couple of times, hoping the little ones will get off the swings so I can have a go (and trying not look like some lurking perv who goes to kids playgrounds without a kid in the process).

Now wouldn't this be cool? ... a playground for adults! (and no, i'm not talking about a sex club ...)  But I'd want swings too.  (and no little kids allowed.)

(photo by mark campbell/rex features)

yeah, right

To you crazy/loyal readers ... my apologies in advance that after my recent reboot, the post that follows is totally shallow. 

But if you've been reading my missives for a while, you know I don't suffer fools gladly, and somehow, I suffer Nicole Kidman and her "I've never had plastic surgery" claims even less.  Today I saw a recent photo of her in an online mention in USA Today and I couldn't resist.

Ladies and gentlemen, submitted for your perusal.

  Early Nic on the left ... and then ... "yeah, right" right below.

 

reboot

A few months ago, a medical thing that seemed innocuous suddenly unearthed something not so innocuous.  And with that, my attempted reboot with the 3-4 times weekly walks/posts stopped, and napping became my favorite pastime since my energy went into the crapper (don't you love the elegant language i use? didn't you MISS ME?).

Hell, I missed me.  I still sort-of miss me, because I'm still not all the way back ... but medical intervention is an amazing thing, and the outlook is good.  Every time I walk out of a doctor's office with a $40 co-pay, I'm grateful for my health insurance, and grateful it's only what it is (exhausting and annoying, yes ... but totally treatable), and not something more complicated and dangerous. 

And while the days become increasingly grayer and darker (my least favorite season is at the gate ...), I have been given the OK to exercise again.  And while the OK was for strolling, as opposed to kicking up the heart-rate sorts of walks and more vigorous workouts (no running up football stadium bleachers in my near future), perhaps the walk/photo thing will get a chance to take off again. But in the meantime, I wanted to say hi (hi), and see if I could kick up some momentum with this public writing thing. 

It amazes me that some peeps still stop by here to visit (a bi-weekly stat report gets emailed, but i hadn't looked at in months [i haven't been posting, so why bother?] ...) but I've been feeling the itch to write again and the other day, I opened the email and saw that I'm still averaging several views a day (huh?) ... so I figured I had me some insane loyal readers, or lots of people googling for 70's shampoo commercials (i get a lot of referrals from that search; go figure ...).

So hi you insane and loyal readers (thank you for your insane loyalty) ... with any luck, I'll be rewarding you for your crazy-love with a little more contact in the future.

And to you folks who stumbled here looking for links to "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" and "Body on Tap" and all those other luscious 70's shampoos and such, I'd hate to disappoint:

just one letter different

Waking ... walking. 

Even though I took another accidental photo yesterday (though not yellow, the brickness of the road is not lost on me ...), I am already feeling the bene's of an almost daily walk again.

And though it wasn't breezy, and it wasn't dawn, I recalled this delicious Rumi poem as I walked and the mind did its thing.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don't go back to sleep.

B

What is it about walking that wakes me up so sweetly? ... and why do I forget so easily?

(oh, and this was the non-accidental photo; cobalt blue glass on a church window ... yum.)

and again ...

There's a high school not even a quarter mile from my home, and when it wasn't in session while I was in my heavy-duty-est mara training last year, I'd often include a few 'rounds around their track in my walks.  Like Rocky I'd run triumphantly up and down these bleachers each time I'd go around the track. 

Today I didn't do anything remotely resembling a run, but it's amazing what a little commitment and Dexy's Midnight Runners doing C'mon Eileen can do to this woman's spirits: a determined walk and a wee bit of a strut today ... and hell, I'll be running up and down these suckers again in no time.

along the way

At left? An accidental photo taken with my phone as I walked today.

And that's a little how life's been feeling lately. (zooming and spinning fast, sometimes surreal, often out of focus.)

I've gained 13 pounds since the mara; and although I am still working out, it's been sporadic, and I have been totally sloppy with my intake.  Getting off track has its advantages (cheese anyone? wine? champagne? baklava?), but months of doing this added up and I'd been feeling yucky and foggy with the added weight.

For me, weight gain is just a symptom anyway: proof that I've spun off center.  It doesn't just happen overnight, the axis slips slowly, gradually, and imperceptibly sometimes.

But once it does, it's scarily easy for me to get into ruts (no, really? note: my last post on june 8th ... and the one before that: april 22nd).  Luckily I never completely lost sight of the desire to improve my heath and get into better shape, and I recently came to my senses and recognized that it was time to work myself back into the healthy groove again. And just as weight gain can be a symptom of things spinning off center, the practice of changing it up - getting outside and walking and clearing my head - helps in the overall scheme. 

Still, there's more to my zooming and spinning (and the related negative health stuff) than walking alone will "cure," and my writing practice has always helped me make sense of the whizzing and spinning.  While my personal practice is still going, I've found that the public element adds something to the whole mix, so I'm committing to the universe of peeps who still visit on these rare occasions when I post, that this week I'll walk 4 times (or more).  And I'll post a photo from the walks and a few words for personal accountability. (blog-land as fitness coach)

And I promise ... no more spinning in the photos. 

Let's hope the same holds true in the life of the one who is taking them.

start where you are

A couple of friends recently asked me about my lack of blog contact.  Talking to one of these peeps the other day, I realized what's been going on in the push/pull that's resulted in these long stretches of quiet in blog-land: there's been some stuff going on in my "real life" that I haven't wanted to write about publicly (to all you 10 or 15 regular readers ...) (that is, if you're still there ...), but it's been hard to write about anything but that, and since I wasn't willing to reveal all here, it was easier not to blog ... or to just touch base by writing about the weather.  But I've missed the community that I have in blog-land, and I want to write and be here and engage again, so ...

I've decided to take a page from the stuff I tell the women in my writing group: If you don't know what to write about, or you're feeling stuck, just start where you are. 

And while you may not follow what comes next today; or you might read stuff into it; you might have no idea what I'm talking about; you may wonder what the heck is going on in my life (or if i'm even talking about my life?) ... but if nothing else, for those who have been wondering, here it is: contact ... from where I am.

Mixed up, mashed up.  Coming, going. Too much of not enough but we want what we want and there's no way to stop it even if we wanted to.  Openings, challenges, new roads, and the world keeps on spinning.  (too many spinning plates in the air sometimes ...)  Inertia feels so good, doesn't it?  Doesn't it?  So much promise, so many possibilities, too many choices.  The right choice for right now sings softly and fiercely as bills and dust and to-do lists fly around and we try to listen and try to do better.  Still, we rush on ahead, we wait, get annoyed and fight the urge to flip the bird.  We scratch the itch, indulge the want, wait until the gas light comes on empty.  Worry what they'll think; worry they won't notice.  Wonder if we have it easy (even though it can feel hard) since we have beds to sleep in, food to eat and blogs to blahblahblah in?  What's the gift in this challenge?  What would the Dali Lama do, and why then oh why can't I? 

Let the mind wander, let the pen run, see what shows up. 

(i'll be back ...)

tug of war

Last weekend six year old Beaner-twin-girl commented on how weird the weather had been, saying that Spring and Winter were playing tug of war.  What a brilliant way to describe what's been going on here on the east coast.

In the last couple of days it seems that Winter has totally dropped out of the game, leaving Summer to take up the slack: it's been in the upper 80s for 3 days, and the weather gods say we're in for one more upper 80s day before Spring digs her feet in and pulls us back to 60-ish days.

And at the same time, as I watch my blog turn into a commentary on the weird Joisey end-of-first-quarter weather and not much else, I find myself in my own version of tug of war ... wondering what the hell I'm still doing here in blog-land. 

Recently a pretty regular reader asked me what purpose the blog served ... and while he qualified - asking if it was a means of connection ... an offshoot of the writing group and the back-burner-ed dream of solopreneurship ...  I couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't really a way of saying: Why the hell are you still doing it? 

But whatever the question was, my answer would probably be the same: Dunno. I've probably never really known, but most of the time the "why" didn't matter because I was having so much fun writing and linking and playing and saying whatever I felt like and having some people read and comment and play with me. Or not.

But I also go through these phases w/blogging - more in the last year or so - where I consider putting it down (giving it up) because it doesn't DO anything.  It's not building exposure for a business; my connections with fellow travelers on a creative playground are limited (and fading, cause the less i blog, the less i seem to check in on others blogs and the less they check in on me... ) and that seems to have made me more guarded about what I will and won't share here ... which dilutes the voice, which makes me less engaged (which makes you reader peeps less engaged, i'm sure ...) ... vicious circle (kvetch, kvetch, blahblahblah).

Perhaps the winter of my blog discontent and the glorious spring are having a tug of war.  I feel the push and pull more lately, but I'm digging my heels in; I don't know why, but it still feels like there's something here for me (and maybe for you loyal readers and lurkers too) ...? Maybe it's time for blog re-invention? ... less blahblahblahing? ... or a little more?  Dunno.  But I'm still in the game.

math that i like

The New Math website is brilliant (and often hysterical).  This one felt particularly fabulous today ... since it was HAILING when I drove to work.  (yes, i know promised i would not reduce ze blog to weather reports ... but i didn't say when ...)