Y'know those scenes in movies when the heroine is going through a major transition, and determined, she moves through the change in a series of quick scenes ...
she has a big dream, and damn-it, she's gonna make it happen ...
or she's pluckily surviving a rough period ...
or she's determined to lose those 20 pounds ...
and after a few scenes ... ("she's a maniac, maniac on the floor" ... she goes to the new years eve party without her dear friend ... or she goes through some frantic workout paces ... ), we see her happily landing where we know she belongs: content, well loved, dreams coming true ... fade to black, roll credits.
And baby, that's what I'm wanting about now. I want to skip through the hard part. I want the frikkin' movie montage.
Gimme a few seconds of the scene holding back the tears while driving ... a few where the man and the woman divide up the household schtuff ... one where she brings her suitcases to the house of the dear girlfriend with arms outstretched ... give me the scenes where our heroine is looking at the great new home with the perfect craftsman fireplace and front porch swing ... and then pick up in real-time again with our heroine (me) on her pretty over-sized couch in front of the fire, healthy, content, at peace ... all is well.
Actually, I KNOW that all will be well. When, after a few years of a sweet relationship, you and your schweetie look into the future and you don't see one together, you have to stop marking time. And no matter how much you care about the guy and he you ... and no matter how much you like your life just the way it is, you know the universe is giving you a kick in the ass. Time to grow again. And growth is good and change is good and love is all around (don't need to waste it, you can have the town why don't you take it? you're gonna make it after all ...). (but i digress into pop culture ... why would today be different from any other day?)
But really, it IS all good. It is growth, and you rarely get growth without the aptly named growing pains. And I'm used to it, I guess ... I seem to attract change and transformation, and I have a knack for inviting overhauls every couple of years. Sometimes I wish I didn't, but I do. So it goes.
I just don't like the process part of the equation. (can't i pass "go" just this once?)
Fast forward montage please.
Darling, it is true, you are a lightning rod for "overhaul", yours and others. I see it as some of the magical, dangerous power you possess. And you make it look easier than I know it feels inside (not that that is necessarily a good thing, just saying...grace under fire). Try to enjoy the heat as you get fired in the kiln.
Posted by: Signy | April 04, 2006 at 01:07 PM
Ah, but those hard, transition times can often give us some of our best show material, dont'cha know? ;) Sorry to hear your news...I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. And you KNOW I'm cheering on your dream, girl.
Posted by: Marilyn | April 03, 2006 at 12:11 AM
oh, i so know that feeling of wanting to fast-forward thru the montage. (did you ever see the team america movie with the song about movie montages? it was pretty funny.) as much as the sticky parts suck donkey balls, there are sure to be some sparkly good stuff in there too. so, hang in there darlin. xoxoo
Posted by: kat | March 31, 2006 at 01:04 PM
I am already holding the vision of you on that cozy over-sized couch in front of the fire, healthy, content, and at peace. That Deb is already there, in fact, and the rest of her will catch up as she goes through this transition with the grace, humor, vulnerability, and strength that I've come to know you for.
Sending love ...
Posted by: maria | March 31, 2006 at 10:26 AM
Hey Deb-
Sorry to read that you are going through this. But, too many times I have learned that going through 'this' is the only way to 'that'.
My thoughts are with you.
Maxly
Posted by: Maxly | March 31, 2006 at 08:32 AM
Sometimes we just go for a looong tasty frog kiss but if in the end he's still a frog it is time to get out of that pond and move on. I am probably not the best person to give advice on getting through tough times because I tend to fight them tooth and nail which can be very exhausting. Be gentle with yourself, you already KNOW that you will be ok and who knows, that might be sooner than you expect. If you feel like chatting with someone who's been in and out of her share of murky ponds, you have my number now!
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic
Hugs, Kerstin
Posted by: Kerstin | March 30, 2006 at 11:46 PM