color me happy

I have been careful not to write how I feel about my job.  For one, I never know who is reading my blog and could make life a living hell when they find out that I don't really like my job and am writing about it on the internet ... and two, I don't like giving a whole lot of energy to whinging about my job.  But if you're a regular-ish reader, you could probably tell that I didn't like it much anyway.

I also haven't said anything about how I was looking for another job, cause again, I never know who is reading the blog and could make my life a living hell if they found out that - not only did I not like my job and was writing about it on the internet, but I was also planning to leave, and as soon as humanly possible.  (sidebar thought: there's really nothing wrong with the organization that i've been working for; they do work that really needs to be done in the world ... it's just that the job/organization has not been a great fit for my talent, gifts and interests ...)

And for that reason, I didn't want to just leap AWAY from that job.  Leaping away is kinda how I got into the gig in the first place.  I was exhausted and SO over running my own business, that I decided to look for a job - any job - that could pay me a regular salary, give me health insurance and benefits like paid holidays and paid "sick days" (something those of us who do the solopreneur thing never get ...).  And so I did just that.  I took "any job."  Oh, there were things to recommend it, but if I was being really honest with myself, not enough.  The culture of the organization was not the sort that I'm naturally attracted to, and I probably knew that from the start, but I just wanted to get out of my home office and show up and do a job that would get me a paycheck every two weeks. 

And that I did. 

But I was not happy.  I was making money, but I was not happy. 

And so I decided that I was not going to just leap into some other "any job" (out of the frying pan, into the fire, as mom used to say ...) instead, I was going to really take a look at myself and what I wanted and valued most about work (a paycheck is certainly important, but if we all just worked for a paycheck and were satisfied with that, there would be no grumbling about mondays ever ...).  I was determined to find SOMETHING that used my talents and gifts; something that centered around a product or cause that I was passionate about.  And one that paid well.  And had benefits.  And paid health insurance.  And paid vacations.  And a cool office culture.

Yes, I know, that's a tall order. 

But guess what?  Methinks I've found it.

As of next month, I'm going to be in charge of marketing and public relations for an organization that I have had some association with for nearly 20 years - since the early days when I first started working in professional theater administration.  The company is a non-profit service organization that supports the work of professional Equity theaters in NJ ... promoting theater arts, culture, arts education, arts accessibility and (although this is not in their mission statement, i think it's inherent in the work they do) tolerance and acceptance of differences in our communities/the world. 

When I worked in theater in Joisey back in the 80s and 90s, this organization was invaluable to the companies that I worked for - it helped us pool our limited resources (of the money and sweat variety) to create group advertising and ticketing programs, arts education programs and ... a skillion other great services that made theater more accessible to everyone.  Even when I stopped working in the industry, I kept a lot of my connections to the community because I'd made some great life-long friends through my work in the theater, and I never stopped loving the art form, it's just that life took me in a different direction for a variety of reasons.

It was through one of these old connections that I learned of this opportunity.  From the start I thought that it would be the perfect job for me, but I knew that there would be a lot of competition for the position - the organization is well respected, and I figured I'd be one of many potentially qualified candidates.  Still, throughout the process, I kept thinking: "this is my job ... it was made for me" ... and even when I'd wander off into mental fantasy-land to try to imagine myself recovering from the emotional devastation of not getting the job (do you see why i like theater?  i'm such a drama queen ...) ... perhaps starting to imagine myself on the phone with the man who would be my boss and hearing him tell me that they "decided to go another way; X had a little more experience ..." I would stop myself; I wasn't going to give that scenario any energy, no sir.  Sure, I knew that there was no guarantee that I'd get the gig, but I wasn't going to "prepare" for it.  If I had to face it, I would.  But I put my mental energy on imagining the positive outcome ... and I also enlisted friends all over the country to send good vibes and use the force in support of this outcome. And sure enough, it happened.  (yahoo!)

The day that I got the good news, LMD's boyfriend said: "Enjoy this time; you are on the way out at the old job, and there are no responsibilities at the new one yet."  And this is true ... it's kind of fun to let go of the attachment to outcomes at the old job - to say: "YEA!  I don't have to go to another board meeting again ... I don't have to invest my time or energy in X program (that i have always thought was a losing proposition, but the bosses/board wouldn't let it go) ever again," and to not be holding the bag for any projects at the new gig yet.

But at the same time, I'm really excited to get started and dig in at the new job.  I know there's going to be a lot of work there, but I'd rather work hard at something that gets me jazzed - among people I enjoy - than do the uphill battle that I was doing at the (still current, but soon to be) old job on a daily basis. 

And now it's countdown time ... I gave notice at the old gig yesterday, and I'll be starting the new gig in a little less than three weeks ... color me happy.

Comments

[neers]

aw... am so envious... god!!! it looked like me talkin!! :) and know what... am so happy for you... one less monday-grumbler (like theres a word like that)

[Stacey]

Congratulations! Hopefully, they've cleaned up all my mistakes by now! Give everyone hugs from me! :-)

[Stacey]

Congratulations! Hopefully, they've cleaned up all my mistakes by now! Give everyone hugs from me! :-)

[Marilyn]

I thought I was pretty up on your posts, but here's how clueless I am--I didn't even know you had a job! Seriously! I thought you were a freelancer! I understand the paranoia about not wanting to write about work grumbles (though that never stops ME...ha!), but I didn't pick up that vibe here at all. That said, I'm thrilled for you that you've found something you feel you'll love. YAY!

[marybeth]

Deb, I've already told ya how happy I am for you, but reading this, I'm even happier. You deserve all the luck and happiness you get and I hope you knock em dad at this place!

xo

MB

[Will]

And put me in the line of people patting you on the back. Huh, someone in the world making a living doing something to do with theater. Who would have thunk it was possible.

Much kudos to you! I look forward to hearing of the many new adventures this will lead you on.

[maria]

Deb, I'm doing my little happy dance for you!! Woohoo!! You go, girl!

Lots of wonderful new beginnings in your life, eh?

[Kerstin]

Congratulations Deb!! You are right, this does sound like the perfect job for you and I am SOOOO pleased that they made the right decision and gave it to you! I can so see this being up your street as far as both your skills AND interests are concerned, well done :)

[Gina]

Wooo Hoooo! Congratulations. I am sure that you are going to kick some booty. As always, you put so many thoughts in my own head into words and remind me of what is possible in the world so here's to new challenges and getting all you deserve!

[Tom]

CONGRATULATIONS!!! This is such exciting news - you are an inspiration. They are so fortunate to have YOU in this position - one you have been preparing for ... for your entire professional life. YAY!