"... there's somethin' due any day, I will know right away soon as it shows. It may come cannonballin' down from the sky, gleam in it eye, bright as a rose. Who knows?"
I have been getting that Tony-in-West-Side-Story-feeling a lot lately - that feeling that change is in the wind. (or, to quote my inner geek: i feel a tremor in the force.) (and yes, yes, i know that things are always changing, but this feels different somehow ... )
Being the patient soul that I am (NOT), I've been on the look-out for insight into what's going on, and I wound up buying myself an in-depth horoscope reading for my birthday to see if I could find some insight there. This is not something I would normally do.
While I read newspaper horoscopes with some frequency, I read them like you read fortune cookies. My inner cynic knows they're bullshit (come on - the position of the planets impacts my personality and characteristics? get out ...), but the inner believer in magic (and the force) reads/opens them like Charlie Bucket praying for a Golden Ticket, hoping to experience one of those moments when that random fortune or newspaper horoscope resonates with something going on in my life and then, as a bonus, gives me a new way of looking at it all so the stuff is somehow easier to manage/walk through. (or even better than that, it provides THE perspective that gives the ULTIMATE epiphany, which in turn helps realign all the challenging stuff in life and i am healed of all my nasty habits and tendencies and i never have to re-organize my files or diet again ever.) (not too much to ask, right?)
But sometime last year a friend told me about a Solar Return reading (a particularly in-depth astrological reading) they'd received as a birthday present; said that it had offered some interesting perspectives, and for some reason it stuck in my mind. I usually use my birthday as a time to reflect on the previous year and ahead to the future (my b-day's proximity to new years adds to the energy ...), so with the Tony-in-West-Side-Story-feeling (and the decided lack of patience that was accompanying it) I decided I'd buy myself a reading to add a new twist to the reflection process - and maybe get some insight as to what the "something" was that's coming.
I sent some pretty basic info (date, time and location of birth) to this woman (the same one who did my friends reading) and a week or so later I got an hour-long CD with all this info about my upcoming year. There are some moments in the reading when things get a bit thick with technical talk ("right conjunct your mid-heaven at the zero degree aries point ..." uh, what?) (those parts sounded like math to me), but there were also lots of interesting interpretations of those technical things, and some of them really landed for me ... made sense and gave me stuff to chew on as I think about how I want to move forward this year. But in the end, one of the biggest "take-away's" about stuff to be on the lookout for? "Change is what it's all about for you right now," she said. (and she used the words: "dramatic change.")
As if I didn't already sense this; that's why I got the reading in the first place. Do I actually believe this? I don't know. A little bit. Enough to find myself whinging inside thinking: why more big change damn it? Haven't I had enough of that in the last several years? Can't I just 
stay put for a while puhleeze?
Man, I sure hope there's not some profound and brief love affair headed my way where either I or my lover will be doomed to a violent death while a soundtrack of Bernstein and Sondheim plays. That would really suck.
Maybe I should have sprung for a psychic instead.
Cause it really does feel like something's coming.
Could be ... who knows?
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