Got to do another wedding last weekend. I feel like a fish to water when it comes to doing this ... I love working with the couple, helping them decide what they're trying to create, the vibe they want for themselves and their guests; I love helping them work through the cultural expectations and "we should's" to discover the essence for themselves ... making the day theirs in every way.
And even though (i still have to pinch myself about this sometimes) the power's been vested in me to make things legal, I couldn't do that for this couple. Because in Pennsylvania - where these two women live (like so many places in the US) - there's no one who can do that for lesbians and gay men, so this was a ceremonial on all levels. For some reason, this seemed to make it even more important for them to have the day go just as they wanted. And in spite of a few glitches that we had no control over (kinda like life), it wound up being an amazing celebration, and I had the most marvelous time helping these two women declare their intention to walk through life together.
The week before (and the days immediately following) the ceremony were some of the most stunningly crisp, clear autumn days - but the day of the wedding? Oh baby, it poured like nobody's business: fog, wind, rain, and brrr cold. A & J had rented a cabin by a lake in the Poconos and they'd hoped to hold the ceremony down by the water; instead, we all crowded around on the covered porch to do the service. But since we all know that the weather of intimate relationships is ever changing, and life can throw storms at you anytime, we decided that the rain offered the perfect metaphor for all that, and the humor didn't dampen.
Friends pitched in with food, guitar accompaniment, and an artist friend of theirs made the cake topper: a stunning likeness of the brides in sculpey-clay. When all the ceremonying was done, they lit up the grill and threw on chicken, burgers and hot-dogs, people gathered in the great room as the wind whipped outside and the fire blazed inside; everyone broke out their kazoos* and tried (badly, but valiantly) to play the Hallelujah Chorus and other celebratory sounding tunes for the delighted couple. (*the kazoos were part of the great wedding favor bags that A & J made for all their guests)
What a day. Spirits were high, the rain was falling and love was in the air. And even though I hope that one day I'll get to file papers for them to make it legal, for now, as the 6th century philosopher Boethius once said: Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.
You may have seen this already, but if you haven't, it's equal parts bizarre, inspired, and funny. And I think you've gotta give some credit to people who feel so strongly that they're willing to re-create old versions of themselves in such an earnest way in order to rally some attention.
I was talking to my friend Sandi about a week or so ago (we worked together when i lived in CA at the coaches training institute) and she was saying that she was feeling stuck on the creative front: from her blog to her art to her knitting ... and she needed something to get her going again. I started telling her about this woman I knew from the blogosphere and her cool community-wide art-invitation(s), including this one called "Art Every Day Month." Sandi said that sounded familiar - she was joining in on a tele-forum with a creative coaching group next week, and the woman featured on the call had a program that sounded an awful lot like that.
Turned out it was Leah.
So, for chucks - in a 'this-could-be-kinda-cool' and "when-worlds-collide' kinda ways - I signed up for the call. (there was actually another fun layer of the serendipity: one of the call's co-leaders - jen - has worked with a good bud of mine from a leadership program we were in about 6 years ago and i now write a semi-regular column on the value of a writing practice for her newsletter. those added layers made it irresistible ...)
But I didn't think I was signing on to actually get back in on AEDM. I'm so busy ... I hardly get to blogging these days as it is ... (when's the last time i posted a writing thing? don't get me started!) So ... what makes me think I'll make time to doodle and get out the old collage stuff and ...
Then, as I listened in on the call ... hearing Leah describe the program ... I remembered so many of the things I liked about participating: it kept the creative wheels greased, provided a structure, and it got me mixing with some new creative (and inspiring) people. And even though I didn't post a project every day, AEDM did get me thinking differently about being creative, making art in my life, and art of my life.
And I could use some more of that, absolutely. So I decided it was time to do it again. (ish)
(i wonder if preparing for a fundraising half-marathon [or as i have taken to calling it: the mara] can be made into art somehow? maybe i just have to bring my camera along on the training walks ...)
(look at that ... i'm simmering already and it's not even november ... what fun.)
I've been thinking about it ... 'threatening' ... wondering if I could actually do it. And now I've gone and done it. I've registered for the January 25th, 2009 Miami half-marathon in order to raise money for pancreatic cancer research.
I don't think anyone who knows me would consider me an athlete (they may actually be laughing just thinking about that concept ...), but ever since my mother died of pancreatic cancer nearly 5 years ago, I've wanted to do SOMETHING, and it turns out, this is the something.
For the longest time after her death, on top of being sad and shocked, I was pissed off ... with about the shittiest odds of any cancer out there, I soon discovered there had been little progress made with this disease in over 30 years. There's no early detection ... none (that's n-o-n-e, none), and by the time symptoms show up and the disease is diagnosed, it's usually too late to do anything about it. 75% of the people who get it are dead within 6 - 9 months.
My mother soldiered on as best she could through her last year, but it was one nasty-ass way to go. After she died, I found myself taking every incidence of pancreatic cancer in the public consciousness personally (patrick swayze, pavarotti), and suddenly I started hearing from other people (my father/my uncle/my friend/my sister) ... there were so many people out there like me who'd lost loved ones to this disease, and we all felt so helpless. I gave some money to the cause, but it always felt like a drop in the bucket when it was a sea-change that we needed.
Then, this past year I (and so many others) became acquainted with the story of Randy Pausch – the Carnegie Mellon professor, husband and father of 3 young children who delivered his inspirational 'Last Lecture' soon after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. This man walked his talk like nobody's business (we cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand) and just days after being hospitalized for congestive heart failure and renal failure as a result of months of chemotherapy and diminishing heath, he rallied to Washington DC to advocate for more money for research funding. He wanted to call attention to the fact that even though pancreatic cancer kills as many as those who suffer with breast or lung cancer, it is way, way lower on the totem pole in terms of funding. Part of that reason, as Paush noted just months before he died, is that nobody survives long enough to take on the role of spokesperson/advocate for it. (we don't have a michael j. fox because people die too fast, he said.)
For those who read here with any regularity, you know that I followed Pausch's story closely and checked in on his personal website regularly for any hopeful news about his prognosis ... sadly, he lost the battle in late July. But through my regular check-ins, I learned about this marathon/fund-raiser, and in time, I couldn't figure out what was stopping me from doing it.
I'm doing this now because I can. OK, so I'm no athlete, but I can walk (the event is 'walker friendly'), and I'm actually shooting to run at least some of the course. I've been working to get myself in better shape this past year, and having a goal like this lights a fire under my work-outs. Me crossing the finish line is a big goal, and it will be a great achievement, but the real goal and the greatest achievement will be when one day a family hears "pancreatic cancer" and it will no longer be a death sentence ... there will be hope.
You know what's coming now, right? I'm asking for money. Yeah, yeah, I know the economy sucks and I probably couldn't think of a worse time to be asking, but even if you just give a buck ... and then let some of your peeps know about it, it'll help. If you tell two friends, and they tell two friends ... and so on and so on and so on (you know i love that old fabrege organics shampoo commercial )... those dollars will add up. It's social networking at its most brilliant.
There's a new movie out called Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and it looks like the sort I would have been attracted to, were I actually in the demographic it's aiming to attract. (25-30 years younger)
From what I hear, there's a key plot-point in the movie that centers around a playlist (duh) (or what we of my [old] generation used to called 'mixed tapes'), that Norah hears, and upon hearing, falls in love with the creator before she actually meets said creator (nick) ... (who she eventually does falls in love with in that forever-in-high-school way they do in john hughes movies and all the similar-ish films that have followed.)
Always loving music, and often working on the ultimate playlists for every possible occasion and mood ever since I got my (beloved) iPod, I imagine such a thing could happen to me ... yeah, I could fall in love with someone based on their musical tastes. (or maybe if i was my age minus 25-30 years) (now it would probably create something more like an intense curiosity... )
Still, reading about this flic lit a fire under me to do something I've been wanting to do for a while: start posting stuff from my playlists/mixes ... the music that inspires me. (i've begun writing posts on this topic before, but i'd always go off discussing the deepiosity of the college mixed tape and the boys who made said college mixed tapes; the art of creating the perfect blend; tapes vs. cds vs. iPod playlists; the pro/con arguments of mixing old 60s pop and 80s punk; the john cusack/high fidelity factor vis a vis creating unrealistic expectations and blahblahblah ... so much so that i'd digress myself off into some obscure place with no way to come back to what i'd originally intended) (almost like now ...)
So instead of going any farther off ... here, for your listening pleasure if you so choose - a few selections from Deb's (infinity) playlist.
I'd love to hear what you'd put in these categories readers (yeah, even though so few of you comment these days, i know you're out there, [i see the stats] ... say hi ... share your tunes ... ).
Nearly always in the rotation ...
Into the Mystic - Van Morrison
If You Want to Sing Out Sing Out- Cat Stevens (i include this song on nearly every playlist i have. it's probably in my top 5 ever. a theme song of sorts.) (this version, though not cat, bubbles over in the spirit of the song ...)
Too damn funny. And slightly radical too. (gotta hand it to those peeps in the tribe for finding a funny and potentially unstoppable solution to the florida vote!)
I had some work related events in Cape May on Thursday and Friday, and after I got back to my hotel on Friday night - when the official schmoozing and eventing was done - the time was all mine (until today at noon). I sat by the sea, reading and writing; I walked miles and miles by the water; sat on my hotel balcony drinking coffee looking at the water. Mmm ... just heaven. What is it about being by the sea that calms the soul?
Whatever it is: YUM; more please.
... to the beach.
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... Saturday perch ...
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... dolphin's keeping one of the charter fishing boats company (the dolphins were everywhere ... so cool ...) ... can it really be the Jersey Shore in the spring/summer/autumn if there's not a wedding going on?
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... sunrise Sunday morning ...
... my spot on the Sunday morning sand (aka: my version of church ...)