Got to do another wedding last weekend. I feel like a fish to water when it comes to doing this ... I love working with the couple, helping them decide what they're trying to create, the vibe they want for themselves and their guests; I love helping them work through the cultural expectations and "we should's" to discover the essence for themselves ... making the day theirs in every way.
And even though (i still have to pinch myself about this sometimes) the power's been vested in me to make things legal, I couldn't do that for this couple. Because in Pennsylvania - where these two women live (like so many places in the US) - there's no one who can do that for lesbians and gay men, so this was a ceremonial on all levels. For some reason, this seemed to make it even more important for them to have the day go just as they wanted. And in spite of a few glitches that we had no control over (kinda like life), it wound up being an amazing celebration, and I had the most marvelous time helping these two women declare their intention to walk through life together.
The week before (and the days immediately following) the ceremony were some of the most stunningly crisp, clear autumn days - but the day of the wedding? Oh baby, it poured like nobody's business: fog, wind, rain, and brrr cold. A & J had rented a cabin by a lake in the Poconos and they'd hoped to hold the ceremony down by the water; instead, we all crowded around on the covered porch to do the service. But since we all know that the weather of intimate relationships is ever changing, and life can throw storms at you anytime, we decided that the rain offered the perfect metaphor for all that, and the humor didn't dampen.
Friends pitched in with food, guitar accompaniment, and an artist friend of theirs made the cake topper: a stunning likeness of the brides in sculpey-clay. When all the ceremonying was done, they lit up the grill and threw on chicken, burgers and hot-dogs, people gathered in the great room as the wind whipped outside and the fire blazed inside; everyone broke out their kazoos* and tried (badly, but valiantly) to play the Hallelujah Chorus and other celebratory sounding tunes for the delighted couple. (*the kazoos were part of the great wedding favor bags that A & J made for all their guests)
What a day. Spirits were high, the rain was falling and love was in the air. And even though I hope that one day I'll get to file papers for them to make it legal, for now, as the 6th century philosopher Boethius once said: Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law.
Amen to that Boethius.
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