entertaining infinity

would you remind me ...

... if the weight of winter-in-my-veins gets me thinking that I don't want to rally for the gym, that I really DO want to rally for the gym?

It's amazing how much better it feels to move, and how easily I forget that when winter descends.  If it were not for the mara* - which is just a little more than a month away - I could easily sink into total and complete winter slow-down.  But with those 13+ miles looming, all I can say is thank god for the mara*.

I went to the gym tonight and clocked in about 4 miles on the treadmill, grunted my way through a few machines, and came home reminded of how much better I feel when I go.  And while the damn winter funk tends to have its way with me no matter what I do (working out and SAD lamps can only do so much - and it didn't help that i wasn't feeling well this past week, but ...), I have to lift my head out of the molasses, fight the tendency to hibernate, and remember how much better it feels to get the blood pumping and feel those endorphins kicking in. 

And besides, if I don't do at least 6 miles three times a week (shooting for an average of about 4 MPH) for the next month, I'll be in no shape, and my ass will be dragging across that finish line in Miami, and there's NO WAY.  No. Way.

So, remind me if I start to sound too funked out: Get off your butt and move Cooperman, MOVE.

(move!)

(*'the mara' is what i have been calling the january 25th half-marathon that i'm participating in to raise bucks for pancreatic cancer research.  half of the word "marathon" is "mara" hence ...)

(oh yes, i'm so clever ...)  :)

@!*$# winter kicks my ass/thank god it's the solstice

Three days in a row of snow, icy rain, slush, gray skies, cold, wind, shoveling snow (and heavy slush), fighting the urge to eat crap (and not always winning), and feeling the molasses-like grayness creeping into my bones. 

FUCK! ... winter kicks my ASS! 

But thank GOD today's the solstice.  One minute more of light each day as we move toward spring. 

And believe me, it matters.

Happy solstice to all and to all some more light.

grati is the new 'tude

The fabulous Carol Ross tagged me for a meme:

Six Things you're Grateful For

#1 - Grateful for memes/grateful that Carol tagged me for the meme/grateful for the word 'meme' cause it's fun to say. 

(i've been in a blog-funk and a just-answer-this-simple-question meme is just the thing to un-funkanize me and get me off my arse.) 

(re: ze blog-funk, can you all say: duh?)

#2 - Grateful for heat/grateful for electricity/grateful for coats and hats and scarves and all the things that make it possible for humans to live in these godforsaken cold climates in the north east (and yeah, yeah, i know i don't live in chicago or minneapolis, but daaamn it's cold here in joisey today ...)

(hm.  perhaps that sounds like a mix of grateful and not-so grateful. yeah i guess it is; so it goes ...) 

(and why i don't live in a warmer climate, you may ask?  because my family is selfish and they wouldn't move en masse to california, that's why!  the nerve of them, really.  i mean, how hard can it be to uproot your kids, your job, your in-laws, your life, and move out to the bay area to make ME happy? see what i mean?  selfish!)

... and speaking of those selfish people ...

#3 - Grateful for my family ... Pop, Suz, Bean, DSC, Baseball Boy, Beaner and all the in-law types ... glad they're close. 

(had a much anticipated sleepover with the beaners a little over a week ago; bean and wife-of-bean went out to a partay and the beaners and i baked cookies - which they decorated with wild abandon.  before bed we told a collaborative bed-time story [one that boy beaner calls 'the fish story' because the first time we ever did it, i said that i'd tell a story, but they had to help me ... so where was the story going to take place?  i asked them ... in the ocean! one of them offered.  and off we went. so you see the logic, right? 'fish story'].  the next day, i planned to leave around 1-ish, but uncle debbie, lets play sculpey! and uncle debbie, can i do your hair? and uncle debbie, let's play zingo and the next thing you know it's uncle debbie, can't you just stay for dinner? and i'm getting home at 7:30pm ...) (no complaints from me though; i can't wait until the next one ...)

#4 - Grateful for friends.  Friends who call you on your shit, call you for no reason, sing your praises, believe your hype, play with you, leave you alone, support you through the tough stuff, love you, love you, love you. (and who you get to love back)

#5 -The first snow.

(yeah, yeah, i know i'm a contradiction.  i hate the cold, i was just kvetching about it above.  but if it's going to be cold, let it snow.)

#6 - That Solstice is just two days away.  One minute more of light each day after that.  It may be the dead of winter, but Spring is on the way.  Yahoo. 

my everyday art

I started out November committed to participating in Leah's Art Every Day Month - a challenge/invitation that she started several years ago, which I participated in just once before (3 years ago). 

The arts are a huge part of my life; I loved drawing as a kid, I go through phases of getting into crafts, and I really love taking photos, but visual art never really grabbed me the same way language did (in all its forms and variations: writing and reading; music [and lyrics]; theater and story telling ...). 

But I had good memories of my AEDM experience last time - "meeting" and getting to know people who were choosing to live with an intentional focus on artful lives was really cool, and the dialog it inspired got me jazzed; I liked the invitation to put a little more attention on such things, so I decided to do it again.  

And while I played around with some visual stuff, I quickly discovered that I had no real desire to do "art" in the more literal sense.  It actually took me a little while to remember that there are no hard and fast rules to AEDM (and it's not like i was getting graded or anything, right?), and I soon let myself off the hook about producing stuff to show everyone and just played around with some different forms in my writing practice. 

I didn't bring any of it here ... not sure exactly why.  For one ... I suppose I'm always aware that blogging and my real life are two very different things - here I have to decide what I'm willing to reveal or not, what I'll allude to, who I'll name, edges I might soften.  So even though I was moving into some poetry, and playing around with some truth-disguised-as-fiction types of short stories (which i love to do - and encourage participants in my writing groups to do too), I just didn't feel like posting any of it.  (maybe someday)  (maybe in another blog under an assumed name - something i've 'threatened' before ...) 

Interesting though, as I was doing that, I found myself unwilling to post at all.  When the juices are flowing off-line, I find it harder to get it up to encapsulate it all for blog consumption. 

And while the things I post here rarely feel like art in and of themselves, blogging has become an essential element in my every day art ... so much so that - even though I was only away from it for (how long?) over two weeks - it really does feel like a long time.  So I write about the process of not writing/posting here in an effort to get myself back. 

Thanks for hanging in there with me (those of you who always do) ...

(and for those who are new? thank you too.)