Turned the clocks ahead last weekend and am already feeling the difference.
I love daylight saving time; I hear some people kvetch that they hate waking up in the dark, but I don't mind: it's light by the time I leave the house, and it's light when it's time to leave the office - color me happy. And while I really love that DST has moved up a couple of weeks, I also notice that I've been bracing myself because it's still not spring yet (even though the crocuses and some other spring flowers have bravely begun their push). The hint of the spring just feels like a tease to me now. I can't relax into it because there's no assurance that winter has breathed its last. Must get through just a few more unpredictable weeks.
And in the meantime, I notice that I'm starting to come out of the winter-funkness just a little bit more. The other day, a friend mentioned that he'd been worried about me; he'd noticed that I was turning down invitations a fair bit this winter and said it seemed like I was hunkered down at home a lot. He wasn't the first to notice; over the years I've learned a lot about how the winter funk impacts me by listening to friends comment about the difference in my energy from season to season.
I try to be open about it; I tell them that it happens, and how it usually manifests, but I suppose I still hide a lot about it too. I don't want people to worry about me (there's nothing they can do), I don't want them to think I'm weak (although i often find myself thinking it's a weakness of character), and I REALLY don't want anyone to try to talk me out of it. (it's not something i can be talked out of; it completely defies logic, and talking about it does no good; it just makes me feel pathetic). Nope, I'd rather just hunker down and ride it out.
Sometimes I wonder if it's what bears feel like. Depressed? Hell no, I'm hibernating; it's what I DO. (grrr ... now leave me alone while i chow on some carbs and sleep a lot more than usual.)
It's just that, when people point out the difference, I'm reminded that I'm like two different people: the spring/summer/fall Deb, and the late fall/winter Deb. Late fall/winter Deb is not a
complete basket-case ... depressed and immobile (although i'm sure in a clinical way, what happens to me is a form of depression). But if she's not bummed out/depressed, she's not energetic and up-beat either; she's just a slow
mover ... one who feels like she's got a coat of molasses on
every inch of her body (and no, not in a good way, you pervy readers ...).
Funny thing is, every year I convince myself I'm doing better at it. And yes, I probably am doing better: I recognize how it gets to me, and I have more and better coping mechanisms - but it's still there and once the spring explodes, I wonder how I made it through.
So ... while I start to wake up, enjoy the "more light" and wait for spring to really unfold, I wonder if you lurking readers have any recommendations for me? (beyond what i already do: the SAD lamp, exercise, and an escape to warm weather at least once in the winter ...). (i suppose anti-depressants are an option too, huh?) Do any of you go through this? How do you cope? What do you do to get through?
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