entertaining infinity

wtf

With temperatures that probably haven't averaged above 40 degrees in the last few weeks here in New Jersey (and that might actually be pushing it to the high side), and a Nor'easter yesterday/today that's already brought down record levels of rain (nearly 5 inches where i am, and over 6 in parts of NY) (and still more to come today), it blows my mind that some people are still debating the validity of global warming. Check out this video too; did W REALLY say (with that cringe inducing smug smile of his - after fumbling and bumbling to remember the scripted party lines - in response to a question about what the US is doing to respond to global warming ...) "The globe is warming ... the fundamental debate: is it man-made or natural?" 

Oh no he di'int.

Uh, no, actually, he did.  That's right W, ignore the science, bring in your minions who are still not convinced that that evolution thing has validity, and point to this or that questionable bit of "evidence" that tells us that global warming might not be influenced by the habits of humans.  It might be uh ... something else.  We're not sure what exactly ... stay tuned.  We'll keep you posted; we're in charge.  Doin' the right thing for our fellow 'merikans.  Right.  Keep on buying those SUV's kids.  It's good for the economy; good for freedom.  Everything's fine. 

It makes my head spin.  Not quite as much as the Blue Men in this "global warming warning" they so eloquently performed in this short video, but the reason's the same.  People in the audience are laughing, but I think this kind of laughter is in response to the sad sort of funny ... same as the kind that's comes up in this clip of will ferrell's inspired take on w's possible response to global warming; the same way that lewis black's indignant tirades on everything W related are funny.  Because there's truth in it ... and it is heartbreakingly impossible to believe some people still think the jury is out. 

What the fuck is it going to take?

bowl humbug-(ish)

Went to the grocery store today and the parking lot was packed - there were cars everywhere, and people were actually jockeying to get parking spots; it looked like it does a few days before Thanksgiving or Christmas and for a split second I wondered what the hell was going on ... but then, of course, I remembered (duh): the Super Bowl.

I feel pretty much the same way about the Super Bowl as I do about Christmas (and we've been over my thoughts on christmas before): they each began with one purpose, and somehow they both became largely co-opted by the runaway trains of commercialism and excess, and now they're something else entirely.  (both of them also seem to have something to do with eating lots of yummy food that is essentially bad for you, but i don't think it has anything to do with the essence(s) of the event(s), although i'm not actually sure.)

Now, all this cranky blahblahblahing is not to say that I am anti-football or the Super Bowl or anything un-godly or un-American like that. I just never got into it so it doesn't cross my radar much.  Hell, I don't even know who is playing tomorrow. (which, incidentally, i feel embarrassed about but i don't know why ...)

I do understand the basic concepts of the game and I can get a kick out of watching when I'm with other people who are into it because then it's as much about the shared experience as it is about the game itself.  And that is fun to me ... hanging out with great people and getting caught up in whatever drama is happening on the television - whether it's a touchdown, a creative commercial, or the half-time extravaganza (with or w/out janet jackson's breast). 

Maybe that's how it became a "national holiday" - people are looking for reasons to gather and share experiences, and because we're looking for this meaning and togetherness, the things we gather for become something like religious holidays.  And a lot of people do like football.  Hence the religiosity of the Super Bowl.

So, here I go again, tagging along on somebody else's holiday ... one I don't celebrate myself - yep, I'm going to a Super Bowl party tomorrow.  I don't know what teams are playing, but I'll find out.  And I'll probably get into it and have a blast. I'll watch those big-ass dudes try to take a ball at least 10 yards in 4 tries without getting the shit kicked out of them by some other big-ass dudes while I eat some good-and-bad-for-you food and enjoy the drama.  And I will hang out with some great peeps and enjoy the company and the shared experience.  And maybe that's what it's really all about anyway.

(and hey, isn't prince doing the half-time show?  that ought to be cool.)  (see, i'm not entirely clueless ...)

God bless us everyone.

christmas comes but 3 months a year

Two photos taken in my local drug store two weeks ago.  In the photo on the left: two aisles.  The right aisle?  Halloween costumes.  On the left? Christmas decorations.    

And this photo on the right ... well, really, do I need to say anything?

It's the 75 days of Christmas. This annoys me beyond belief.  (i imagine that bearded-mask-guy in the photo on the left feels the same way ...)

blogcranky

Been feeling kinda cranky around blogging lately.  Kinda forgetting why I started doing it in the first place ... self expression, connection, fabulosity, new variant on writing practice, blahblahblah. 

In the last week or so it's felt like just another thing that I have to do that I don't make enough time for and when I don't, it it just throbs at me: you're ignoring me ... you're ignoring me.  And with no comments in my email in-box to spur me on to write (yes, feedback/comments keep me going i totally cop to that...) it feels like a "should" not a "want to."  (kvetch, kvetch, kvetch...)

In a way I "blame" the Blogging the Artist's Way stuff - spurred on by that work, I've been getting deeper into my own writing and I'm feeling a little less 'sharey' than usual.  Interesting.

Just thought I'd write about it because there's something about blogging that reminds me of exercise ... and I know that the longer I stay away from both, the harder it is to come back.  And most of the time I feel better that I've done it. 

So, this is my walk on the blog treadmill for today.  My heart's not 100% in it, but sometimes you just have to put on the sneakers and walk, and the heart will follow.

various musings

A few random blurts from the last week or so...

New Year, Squared

Right on the heels of the turn of the year is the turn of MY year (january 2nd).

As a little kid, I didn't think it was possible for this timing to suck more.  My 'big day' came during the winter - which was (and still is) my least favorite season - and it also came right after the gift-giving-frenzy of December, so birthday prezzies were often an afterthought (a sweater for b-day loot? suck-a-rama!).  And besides that, more often than not, January 2nd was the first day back to school after a long break -- not what a kid wanted at all.

As a bigger kid/adult, I've actually enjoyed the timing.  When the world sheds its yearly skin and so many people are rethinking their lives, taking stock and looking forward with optimism and delicious intention ... I get all that great energy swirling around as I finish up one age and move into another.  Yum.  It makes the b-day seem doubly profound/doubly opportunistic. 

And then there's the celebration aspect.  I love that.  Parties? Fireworks? A long weekend?  Count me in!  To have my birthday folded into a time of celebration is delightfulness x 2.  I'm not a big fan of having the Happy Birthday song sung to me (give me the beatles version any day), but any time that's 'sanctioned' for people to make a fuss over me?  Well, that's the way (uh huh uh huh) I like it (uh huh uh huh).  And if people are too caught up in the hoopla of the holidays to remember my day?  No problem, I've extended the time to make a fuss; January is now officially The Birthday Month in Debland. 

Let the celebrations continue.

(i'm only sort of joking here...)

(worship me!)

... other birthday-ish stuff ...

This year is a particularly interesting one for me.  This year I turned 45. 

There's nothing overly significant about 45 to me - I reckon that any day above ground is a good day, and even though the changes in my face and body over the last couple of years have taken a little getting used to, I'm not freaking out and thinking about botox or microdermabrasion or anything like that.  (i'd rather look like an older version of me than a caricatures of my former self like america's sweetheart...)

But it's not the wrinkles around my eyes or the little spots that are showing up on my hands that makes 45 particularly significant...it's because I'm the same age now as my mother was in this, my favorite photo of the two of us together, and that kinda wigs me out.  Not sure why. 

The photo was taken during an 'official' family portrait session in 1985. I must have been a little tired of trying to look casually familial so I started goofing off; the photographer kept shooting, and this shot came out of it.

Why I like it/what I see in it: Mom's playful goofiness and how I could always bring it out in her.  I also remember of all the times she held herself in ... kept her mouth shut because of how it might look/because of my father's position (he was a big fish in his pond) or some made-up idea of how she was supposed to be.  And I think about how she was both proud of me and afraid for me for being outspoken, bodacious and for walking a different path.  The older I got, the more she made peace with my bodaciaity, and the more I made peace with how challenging it was for her to break her habit of containing herself. Sometimes this photo of her whispers to me (kinda like those photos in dead poet's society) - "DON'T keep your mouth shut ... time passes ... laugh a lot ... don't keep it in ... keep on seizing the day Baboo* ..." 

(*yet another of my nicknames; her favorite for me ...)

... and then related to that ...

Since I left home, every year on the morning of my birthday Mom would call me without fail around 9am and say: "I wanted to call you at 6:20 and wake you up, but I decided to let you sleep," referring to the hour that I was born.

The first January after she died, I woke up just a few minutes after 6:20am (6:29, actually) and figured she just couldn't resist waking me up that year.  And then, this year (b-day #2 w/out her), I woke up at 6:21.  She can't call, but I like to think that she's found a way to wake me up and continue her special birthday greeting anyway.

... totally unrelated to any of that birthday/new year/mom stuff ...

I'm so frustrated I could SCREAM.  Due to something that I (and the folks at typepad's help desk) have not been able to get to the bottom of - I can't leave comments on TypePad blogs these days.  It's been going on for over two weeks (no my blog friends, i have not stopped visiting - and with many of you, i have been aching to comment on your luminescent posts!) and it's driving me batty.  Every time I get a note from the TypePad folks, I am hopeful that THIS suggestion may provide a solution, but so far ... nada, zip, zilch. I am comment-less.  For me, the blogging experience is as much about how I interact with other bloggers (who have become such a delicious addition to my community/life) as it is what I post on here.  And to not be able to communicate?  It just sucks.  (and not in a good way!)

... crossing my fingers that the next suggestion that comes works.  Cross yours too, would'ja?