entertaining infinity

reboot

A few months ago, a medical thing that seemed innocuous suddenly unearthed something not so innocuous.  And with that, my attempted reboot with the 3-4 times weekly walks/posts stopped, and napping became my favorite pastime since my energy went into the crapper (don't you love the elegant language i use? didn't you MISS ME?).

Hell, I missed me.  I still sort-of miss me, because I'm still not all the way back ... but medical intervention is an amazing thing, and the outlook is good.  Every time I walk out of a doctor's office with a $40 co-pay, I'm grateful for my health insurance, and grateful it's only what it is (exhausting and annoying, yes ... but totally treatable), and not something more complicated and dangerous. 

And while the days become increasingly grayer and darker (my least favorite season is at the gate ...), I have been given the OK to exercise again.  And while the OK was for strolling, as opposed to kicking up the heart-rate sorts of walks and more vigorous workouts (no running up football stadium bleachers in my near future), perhaps the walk/photo thing will get a chance to take off again. But in the meantime, I wanted to say hi (hi), and see if I could kick up some momentum with this public writing thing. 

It amazes me that some peeps still stop by here to visit (a bi-weekly stat report gets emailed, but i hadn't looked at in months [i haven't been posting, so why bother?] ...) but I've been feeling the itch to write again and the other day, I opened the email and saw that I'm still averaging several views a day (huh?) ... so I figured I had me some insane loyal readers, or lots of people googling for 70's shampoo commercials (i get a lot of referrals from that search; go figure ...).

So hi you insane and loyal readers (thank you for your insane loyalty) ... with any luck, I'll be rewarding you for your crazy-love with a little more contact in the future.

And to you folks who stumbled here looking for links to "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific" and "Body on Tap" and all those other luscious 70's shampoos and such, I'd hate to disappoint:

just one letter different

Waking ... walking. 

Even though I took another accidental photo yesterday (though not yellow, the brickness of the road is not lost on me ...), I am already feeling the bene's of an almost daily walk again.

And though it wasn't breezy, and it wasn't dawn, I recalled this delicious Rumi poem as I walked and the mind did its thing.

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.

Don't go back to sleep.

You must ask for what you really want.

Don't go back to sleep.

People are going back and forth across the doorsill where the two worlds touch.

The door is round and open.

Don't go back to sleep.

B

What is it about walking that wakes me up so sweetly? ... and why do I forget so easily?

(oh, and this was the non-accidental photo; cobalt blue glass on a church window ... yum.)

and again ...

There's a high school not even a quarter mile from my home, and when it wasn't in session while I was in my heavy-duty-est mara training last year, I'd often include a few 'rounds around their track in my walks.  Like Rocky I'd run triumphantly up and down these bleachers each time I'd go around the track. 

Today I didn't do anything remotely resembling a run, but it's amazing what a little commitment and Dexy's Midnight Runners doing C'mon Eileen can do to this woman's spirits: a determined walk and a wee bit of a strut today ... and hell, I'll be running up and down these suckers again in no time.

along the way

At left? An accidental photo taken with my phone as I walked today.

And that's a little how life's been feeling lately. (zooming and spinning fast, sometimes surreal, often out of focus.)

I've gained 13 pounds since the mara; and although I am still working out, it's been sporadic, and I have been totally sloppy with my intake.  Getting off track has its advantages (cheese anyone? wine? champagne? baklava?), but months of doing this added up and I'd been feeling yucky and foggy with the added weight.

For me, weight gain is just a symptom anyway: proof that I've spun off center.  It doesn't just happen overnight, the axis slips slowly, gradually, and imperceptibly sometimes.

But once it does, it's scarily easy for me to get into ruts (no, really? note: my last post on june 8th ... and the one before that: april 22nd).  Luckily I never completely lost sight of the desire to improve my heath and get into better shape, and I recently came to my senses and recognized that it was time to work myself back into the healthy groove again. And just as weight gain can be a symptom of things spinning off center, the practice of changing it up - getting outside and walking and clearing my head - helps in the overall scheme. 

Still, there's more to my zooming and spinning (and the related negative health stuff) than walking alone will "cure," and my writing practice has always helped me make sense of the whizzing and spinning.  While my personal practice is still going, I've found that the public element adds something to the whole mix, so I'm committing to the universe of peeps who still visit on these rare occasions when I post, that this week I'll walk 4 times (or more).  And I'll post a photo from the walks and a few words for personal accountability. (blog-land as fitness coach)

And I promise ... no more spinning in the photos. 

Let's hope the same holds true in the life of the one who is taking them.