entertaining infinity

drunk on poetry

Spent much of the weekend at the luscious Dodge Poetry Festival and am finding it hard coming back down to earth.  How, after a weekend immersed in all that open hearted conversation ...of being whumped again and again in the gut ... of getting the wind knocked out of you (in a good way) by sweet invitations and soulful energy, how do you go back to work and details and gravity?

Photos and more thoughts may come later, but for now, sink into this delicious Rumi poem (and then, if you can surface without feeling just a little bummed that you have to come back, you're a stronger soul than i ...).

Love Dogs

One night a man was crying "Allah, Allah!" 

His lips grew sweet with the praising,

until a cynic said:

"So ... I have heard you calling out, but have you ever gotten any response?"

The man had no answer for that.

He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.

He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls in a thick, green foliage.

"Why did you stop praising?"

“Because I've never heard anything back."

"This longing you express is the return message."

The grief you cry out from

draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness that wants help

is the secret cup.

Listen to the moan of a dog for its master.

That whining is the connection.

There are love dogs no one knows the names of.

Give your life to be one of them.

snapshots

Got a new digital camera last week (version zoom ex-z600) ... I've been without one for a while, since the one I used to "have" actually belonged to The Guy Formerly Known as Schweetie.  I forgot how much I loved bringing a camera along on my daily travels to take a shot when something beautiful/interesting came my way.  Having a digital camera is such a great structure/tool for me around staying awake and being more observant (kinda like writing).  Even when the photos don't come out perfectly (i'm still trying to figure out the settings and lighting and why the hell i can't always get clean focus on all of my portrait shots ...), there's stuff to appreciate in them.  And just stopping and observing and setting up a shot gets me present and appreciative, which is cool even if the photo winds up sucking.

I get a real kick out of taking shots of people, and would love to share them as well, but I'm often hesitant; I feel like I should be getting permission.  (do any of you other bloggers have that delemma? what have you done? do you ask people for their permission?  i don't want to violate anyone's privacy.) (not like this blog gets read by a massive audience or anything. but then again, another friend told me today that she reads it, and i had no idea she did.  so who else is reading it that i don't know about?

(tangented dreams of who is reading and will be contacting me soon ...)

(but i digress yet again ...)

Took these shots on/around the 4th.  (click on each one for a bigger version ...)  Working from the top: there's the produce stand where I bought corn for a family picnic; the sky off the back deck at COTU (the home where i live with LMD; we call it COTU: center of the universe); barely able to make them out over the trees (and a little blurry), but trust me - fireworks; and finally: the candles were burning and the wine bottle was almost empty as LMD and I sat at the table on the back deck and yakked and watched the fireworks.  Luscious.

Life is good.  And these are some photographs to prove it.

shoe shopping - an epic

I have never completely understood the fascination that (a large percentage of) my half of the species seems to have with shoes.  You've got Imelda Marcos at one and the spectrum, the Sex and the City women in the middle, my mother coming in somewhere behind them, and then way way down at the other end of that spectrum - not quite so far as those who wear sneakers or weejuns all year round - there's me. 

It's not that I hate shoes; I appreciate the use of a great pump worn with silky black stockings and a short black dress to create a little sass and impact now and then ... (what fun that is) ... but most of the time, I'd rather be comfortable.  The problem is, comfortable and fashionable are often two diametrically opposed concepts. 

And here's another thing: I don't like shopping much.  I'm not a browser, I'm more a kamikaze kind of shopper.  If I know what I need, I go in, scan and weed things out fast, and then move on. 

Actually, that's not entirely true ... I enjoy browsing in book stores.  Depending on the mood I can putter for hours in a housewares, or cool guy card/gift stores (not your basic hallmark store), music, and handmade craft stores.  (d.i.y. craft stores too). 

But clothes and shoe shopping? I can't stand it ... so I avoid it.

And so, it turns out that in the winter time, my "shoe wardrobe" pretty much consists of my favorite boots that I bought when I lived in Australia, and in the summer I wear whatever is in the closet - which, in most cases, are old-and-not-in-very-good-shape shoes.  But since I haven't been particularly inspired by the stuff in shoe stores in the last few years, (and remember, i hate shopping anyway), I've been in high avoidance mode around getting anything new.  So I walk around like one of those people on "What Not to Wear" ... with a half decent outfit that looks like crap because I'm wearing what my mother would have called "clod hopper's" (ugly clunky shoes). Because rather than spend money on shoes that are uncomfortable and ugly at worst, and a-fashion-compromise-for-too-much-money at best, I figure I'll wear the worn out clod hoppers for a while longer. 

But, the other day when I was driving home from work there was an accident on the only stretch of "retail hell" that I travel.  So rather than crawl along in what looked to be a long wait, I noticed a shoe store in the shopping plaza right next to me suddenly thought: I should go in and take a look around.  As I'm sure you're getting by now, this is NOT something that usually runs through my mind; I'd usually pick a traffic jam over shoe shopping, but I thought perhaps my mother was reaching out from the cosmic soup (as i often think she does) ... not to say, as she usually would, some version of "carpe diem," but rather: "Get rid of the clod hoppers already!" 

And so, with a force such as Mom and the Cosmic Soup to reckon with - even if they were just talking about shoe shopping - I decided to go inside. 

I did my usual scan-scan-scan-stop-look, move-along-scan-scan-scan method and thought, "Well, at least it's passing the time instead of crawling along in traffic ..." and as I neared the end of the inventory something caught my eye and I stopped. 

Before me was a pair of sneakerish sandals - or sandalish sneakers - and they looked comfortable and funky ... and kinda feminine even.  And then I thought: "They're hip-kid-fashion ..." and for a second there I almost dismissed them and listened to that voice as it continued: "Keep walking Cooperman, you are not their target demographic." 

But I am wise in the ways of my internal editor, and no longer listen to that attempt to contain me and my passion/joy/fun, so I decided to (cross-my-fingers) and see if they had one in my size. 

This is not always do-able since I wear anything from a size 9 - 10 shoe. (women, you know what this means and men [i don't think there are that many men who read the blog anyway - but most of them i know in my "real" life] and they could all care less about these details ... "get on with it," they're probably saying, "blahblahblah ginger.") (and lets's face it, the post is already long as it is ...) 

So ... where was I?  Oh yes, I rarely get attached to a shoe I like, cause they often don't have them in my size anyway.  But (praise yoda) they had this one in a 9.  And, not only were they adorable, they were comfortable.  (remember those annoying easy spirit shoe commercials? "looks like a pump ... feels like a sneaker ..." ? i'm sorry, but they looked like a pump and they felt like a pump.  a more-comfortable-than-your-average-pump perhaps, but a pump just the same.)  These felt like a sneaker ... only better.  I couldn't believe my good fortune.  I bought them and have worn them for the last two days absolutely delighted with my purchase.  (it almost calls to mind that old feeling i used to get as a kid when i got new shoes for the first day of school and wore them feeling extra special because the shoes were bright and new.) 

I just can't believe I'm this excited about shoes, but I am, and tonight I actually googled the manufacturer's website (oh yes, they are definitely catering to a younger crowd than i, but who cares?) and discovered that that this company has lots of cool shoes ... and most of them have that comfy sneaker-like sole.  I think I'm going to buy a few more like them in various colors.

What's happening to me? Is this what the Sex and the City girls felt like when they found the perfect Manolo Blahnik's?  Maybe it's freedom, spring and happy feet ... and maybe it's another version of that "carpe diem" message from the cosmic soup (with a little help from mom) after all.

fun links again...

~ The other day I got on this website, typed in the word "poop" and hit "hear word" over and over again for my three year old niece and nephew to their insane delight (uncle debbie was a hit -- then again, it doesn't take much with 3 year olds ...).  The site has other applications, of course.  Got a pesky word you can never remember how to pronounce ... (like W with nook-ya-ler?)?  Type it in and chances are good you won't mess it up again.  ('cept W, of course ...)

~ Anybody ever tell you that you look like someone famous? Upload a photo of yourself and this website will give you a list.  It's a hoot ... and addictive.  I tried 3 different photos which turned up the following matches: Patricia Arquette, Ian Thorpe, JK Rowling, Agnetha Fältskog (of the fab-wah ABBA), Johnny Ramon (gaba gaba hey), Meryl Streep, Marianne Faithful, Barbra Striesand, Princess Diana, Bella Lugosi, Margaret Thatcher and (get this) Signourney Weaver (huh?).  Other than Signourney, I think the theme is our rather pronounced probosci's.  Fun whether you agree with what they come up with or not.

~ I have to clean out my closet ... and the pile under the coffee table ... and get my tax stuff together (before march please!) ... and make that change on that life insurance policy ... and pay my bills before the 10th of the month ... and ... as the tag line on this site says: sometimes in life you just need to be nagged. 

~ A plug for a pal - personal trainer and all 'round fabulous woman Kim Eickhoff and a few collaborators wrote a book to help young kids think and be healthy.

~ All this, and a typeface made out of your handwriting ... the internet is a cool place.

channukah - a new view

Sometimes I really fight having my perspective shifted. Even though I'm usually very open minded, there are times when I'll go kicking and screaming when presented with a new way of looking at something I hold as true. 

Not today.  Today it was easy. (love it when that happens!)

In my last post on 'the holiday's' I mentioned that Channukah isn't a particularly important Jewish holiday, but this morning on NPR's Morning Edition, I heard this commentary by Rabbi Brad Hirschfield - an oft quoted participant in the PBS documentary 'faith and doubt at ground zero' - that provided another way of looking at this holiday, and I really liked it.

I know that not everyone will listen to the segment, so here are some key parts:

"We need Channukah this year more than we have in a long time.  It's been a year punctuated by a tsunami in South Asia, ongoing conflict in Iraq, Katrina's devastation of the Gulf Coast, and shrinking confidence in our own elected officials at home.  Now is the time to remember that great things can come at the most unexpected times and in the most unusual ways; that's what Channukah is all about. 

Channukah is important to us today not because of historical details surrounding the military victory of a rebel Jewish army seeking political and religious freedom in 165 before the common era. In the coldest, darkest time of the year, we all need a story in which a small container of oil burns longer and brighter than anyone could possibly imagine; a story in which people who know that same oil could not last more than a day decide to light it anyway.  Why?  Because they believed in the oil?  Because they believed in God?  Because they believed in themselves?  Probably a bit of each.  That's what miracles are all about.

This year, as many of us are tempted to despair by events in the world around us, we need to believe in miracles like that. 

Whether we are Jewish or not, whether we really believe in miracles or not, now is the time to remind ourselves and each other the small reservoir can hold more than we ever imagined, and allow ourselves to trust in that knowledge.  We need to remind ourselves and especially our children that inside little containers there is great stuff waiting to get out.

Whether we access these ideas through the story of a little baby born in a manger or the Channukah tale of a little vial of oil - these are big lessons which deserve to be celebrated now and throughout the year.  They remind us that there is light even when we see only darkness, love even when we feel only hate, and possibility even when we think we stand before the impossible."

Tonight when I light the candles, I'm going to put some attention on that perspective.

(maybe channukah and imagine can be the same thing.  cool.)

~                       ~                     ~                      ~                       ~                       ~

update, december 30th.  my candles from last night w/all that good vibe attached.  :)

 

another fun outing

I'm going to see Wicked tonight.  Been wanting to see this show for ages, and it seemed that everyone I knew had already seen it.  Not that I couldn't go solo - I've been to plenty of shows solo (either just for fun or to do my reviewing thang...), but somehow this one seemed to be one that should be shared.  Turns out my good friend Wend-a-leh had not seen it, so we're ditchin' our workdays early and hightailin' it into NY.  Yahoo.

Doubling our pleasure: a good friend of Wend-a-leh's and mine has a friend (who has a friend) who works backstage at the show and we're going to get a backstage tour.  Fab-u-licious.  Natually, I've got the camera.

Color me excited.

Stay tuned...

weekend delishusnuss

Flowers from my schweetie.  (gerber daisies, my favorite.)

Watching back-to-back episodes of Six Feet Under on a very rainy day.

Making my favorite stir fry with a drizzle of hot chili oil to finish it off. (yum)

Journaling on the bed in my office/guest room.

Indulging in a good cry (missing mom).

Lounging in long johns, slippers and a sweat shirt like a schlub, but still managing to feel sexy as all hell.

Connecting with three of my best friends for long and yummy catch-up phone calls.

Meditating (getting back in the swing after a rather protracted absence from the practice).

Luscious weekending.